Take a Ride On the Riled Side

On a frigid day like today (minus twenty-five with the wind chill), I’d like you all to think about the bus riders out there.  You know, those hardy souls who put up with cold and wet and snow in order to utilize our oh-so-convenient public transit, thereby preventing a few of the greenhouse emissions that will eventually kill us all.  Thanks to us, you’ve got a little longer to enjoy the planet.  You’re welcome.

Yes, we also serve who only stand and wait.  And wait.  And wait.  (Don’t let anyone tell you that there’s a bus handy when you need it.)  Winnipeg Transit used to have a slogan:  “Ride Above It All”.  But when you’re standing at a bus stop in January, unable to feel anything below knee-level, you don’t really feel like you’re above anything.  Unless maybe you’re so cold you’re having an out-of-body experience, looking down at your poor shivering self, way down below, frozen to the spot. 

Whether you believe it or not, there’s a price to be paid for every single one of you that decides that they can’t deal with taking the bus.  Pollution is the obvious one.  Someone’s got to take up the slack for you folks who decide you need your Tim’s or your Starbuck’s, and you can’t live without your McMuffin.  So all of us riders deal with the wasted time and the cruddy weather while you guys have your treats and get up half an hour later, just because you think you can. 

As far as I’m concerned, there are only two groups that deserve a pass on this issue:  those with physical challenges (confined to wheelchairs, for example) and parents of small children.  Because if you’ve ever had to haul a baby in a stroller and/or a toddler in a snowsuit (the equivalent weight being a drunken sumo wrestler tied to a boat anchor) any distance, you’ll know that it is soul-crushing to add public transportation into the mix. 

But all you able-bodied, child-free people?  Come on.  Get off your butts and out of your vehicles and face facts.  The world isn’t going to support your behaviour for much longer, either by design or by accident.  At some point, you will have to lower your First World standards to include a little thing called “reality”.  And that will involve not being comfortable and warm and sufficiently hydrated and fed every twenty minutes.  Come on coffee drinkers:  you can make it half an hour without your cuppa joe, can’t you?  Aren't we tough-as-nails Winnipeggers?

You should say a prayer of thanks for all of us brave bus riders.  Brave, not just in the sense that we brave the elements.  No, we are dragon-slaying-type brave.  We share our personal space (sometimes a bit too personally) with the widest variety of the human spectrum on a daily basis.  I’ve seen all kinds of socially unacceptable behaviour, from swearing and yelling to actual fights.  I’ve endured body odors, morning breath, perfume and cologne by the reeking gallon, and garlic breath that could bring down a healthy bull elephant without much effort. 

I’ve been ogled, stared at, chatted up and bored to tears by over-sharing strangers who felt the need to connect with someone.  Anyone, in fact.  I’ve been subjected to all kinds of too-loud music, from thrash metal to hip-hop, whether through crappy headphones or no headphones at all.  I’ve played witness to groping, snogging and make-out sessions that, try as I might, I just can’t un-see. 

But no matter what a pain in the butt it can be, there are still good things about riding Transit Tom.  Feeling morally superior is (obviously) one thing.  Being able to snag twenty or thirty minutes more sleep is pretty awesome.  Catching up on some reading is always sweet.  Not having to worry about finding a parking spot ranks pretty high.  And paying just eighty-four dollars for an entire month’s worth of transportation is fabulous, considering the high price of gas.  Besides all that, it’s just the right thing to do.  It is.  This planet is gasping for breath, and the last thing it needs is another line of gas-guzzling vehicles clogging up the roads or idling at the local coffee shop. 

So:  you think your daily commute is a pain?  Trust me:  if you saw what we put up with on transit, you’d shake our hands.  Maybe even buy us a Timmy’s at the next drive-through. 

Amen to that. 

Halloweenies, unite!!

Now that Hallowe’en is done and dusted for another year, I thought I’d put in my two cents about the occasion.  I absolutely adore Hallowe’en.  I think it’s the best day of the year, bar none.  You know why?  Because of all the holidays, it’s potentially the smartest.  It forces you to think, and I’m a huge fan of thinking.  Probably to my detriment, but that’s another story.  I just like the fact that Hallowe’en encourages creativity and levels the playing field for the Sheldon Coopers among us.  You can be smart, witty even, and you are actually admired for it.  The geekiest kids can be popular on Hallowe’en, unlike the rest of the year, when being intelligent is regarded by most of their peers as showing off. 

Of all the holidays, I think Hallowe’en rates as the smartest, while Valentine’s is at the bottom of the list.  To me, Valentine’s is a no-brainer, and not in a good way.  Everything’s laid out for you, right down to the colours, the flowers, the verbiage.  Of course, as my eldest son pointed out to me, creativity can play a part in Valentine's.  Let's face it, though:  if you really want to do St. V.’s on auto-pilot, you definitely can.  Not that I don’t enjoy getting all the usual Valentine’s gewgaws, but it isn’t a thinking person’s observation.  I mean, anyone with the cash can walk into a flower shop, buy a dozen roses and give them to someone.  Not just anyone can think of and put together a memorable and witty costume.   

Hallowe’en is smart and sassy, shocking sometimes, but never boring.  My kids wonder why I put so much effort into making our costumes every year.  They always want me to buy them superhero getups or creepy masks.  At least, they did when they were little, before yours truly brainwashed them into thinking that Hallowe’en is an excellent chance to showcase their creativity, their individuality.  Why be one of a hundred Spidermen, when you can be one of the few Roman centurions or the lone undead bellhop?   

When my boys were small I used to tell them I couldn’t afford to buy them costumes.  That was true, but it wasn’t the real reason.  Even if I could have afforded to buy them, I wouldn’t have.  Why?  Because as far as I’m concerned, buying a costume is another no-brainer.  It’s the antithesis of what I believe is the spirit of Hallowe’en.  What creativity or thought does it take to spend forty bucks on a costume that’s going to fall apart in a day?  I'm well aware that lots of people (some of my very good friends) buy their costumes.  They say they aren’t creative or have no time to make one.  I get it.  Different strokes for different folks.  But if I had to pick between store-bought and homemade, it’s homemade every time.  Far better to make your own and fly your freak flag as high as you possibly can.  

Great costumes are ones that you have to appreciate, if for no other reason than the thought that’s behind them.  My friend Jessica does elaborate costumes each year, but it’s not just the workmanship that blows me away.  It’s the fact that she spends so much time pondering what she’s going to be.  Like any Hallowe’en aficionado, she regularly comes up with a costume that is original and reveals a great deal of thought.  When you see her all kitted out, you just have to smile and be amazed at what she’s created. 

 

Don't get me wrong:  I love Christmas as much as the next person.  But there's so much emotional baggage that comes along with that particular holiday for so many of us.  Either we have huge expectations of the perfect family Christmas (and let's face it, whose family is perfect?) or we're missing loved ones or we're stuck being alone for whatever reason.  It's not for nothing that the suicide rate jumps at that time of year.  Christmas can be the toughest day of the entire year, and that's why it isn't my favourite.

 

Hallowe'en is far less complicated* and usually far more fun as a result.  A costume and some candy, and you're good to go.  Admit it:  who hasn't caught sight of someone dressed up at work or on the street or on the bus and giggled?  Hallowe'en is clever and fun, and aren't those things we could all use a bit of more of in our lives?  So, that's my shout out to Hallowe'en, in all it's smarty pants glory.  Can't wait for next year!

 

*Please note:  I'll save my rant for how political correctness is ruining the observance of Hallowe'en in schools for another time. 

 

 

 

"The brain is like a muscle.  When it is in use we feel very good.  Understanding is joyous."  - Carl Sagan